Mercedes and Poop

I have finally experienced it... We have said and have been told at some point or another "What goes around comes around." Today, I have learned that it IS true.

For three days, I have been driving around in 100 degree Texas heat in the Vomit-mobile. See post below. I have been trying to rid the car of the smell. I tried fabric softener sheets. Airing out the car, and anything else people recommended, but to no avail. It still smells like vomit when the A/C starts to blow. Yuck.

Car finally ready. Yeah! No more vomit-mobile. I load Kenzie in the car, as many quarters as I could find for the tollway, and head to the dealership. Kenzie slept to whole way there. And when I got to the dealership, she woke up!

I put her in the stroller - mostly so I wouldn't forget it in the trunk and go inside to the cashier. Several people stopped and did the baby ooohhh, ahhh, asked how old she was, etc while I waited in the short line. And then I saw and heard it. That dreaded look that a mother always knows... the I am taking a massive crap look. And then the squeal of high powered potent baby poop shooting out of the cutest baby girl butt I have ever seen. I looked left... I looked right... Had anyone else heard? I covered her bottom half with an extra blanket from the diaper bag to kind of keep it out of site.

About that time, one of the female service advisors stopped by the stroller and reached in and starting touching her saying... "She is so cute..." and then started to lift the blanket. I thought to myself... you lift that up, lady, and you won't think she is that cute... So I bumped the stroller and proceeded to the cashier. Anyway, who did she think she was touching my baby. Poop on her hand would have served her right.

The cashier needed a signature and sent the valet to get the car. I asked where the restroom was... I had an emergency! I proceeded directly to the ladies room while the car was being pulled around.

Please, have a changing station...Please, please, please. Well, we have mouthwash, scented hand lotion, no changing station... Quick, check the handicap stall. I don't see it. Panic starting to well up. Oh, there it is... built into the wall behind the door was a stainless steel changing table. Perfect!

I pick up the blanket. Oh, this is going to be bad. The yellow poop had leaked out of the diaper and down both legs and was starting to fill the carseat. Carefully, I picked her up to minimize the seepage. I laid her on the stainless steel shelf (with a designer changing pad underneath that I topped with a disposable changing pad and started to slowly remove yellow poopy clothes to get down to the yellow poopy diaper.

Good news, didn't blow up the back, only out the legs. (Did I really just say good news? Yikes!) I go to open the diaper and exposed her bottom to the air so I could start to clean up the mess. Well, Kenzie was just not finished and proceeded to leave a light dusting of yellow poopy on the wall. Thankfully I was standing to the side and was clear of the explosion!

Several baby wipes later I had a clean baby. She won't even need a bath tonight as she now smells, all over, of Pampers Sensitive Baby wipes. Next was the car seat. A wipe was not going to cut it. So, I did the best I could and covered it with a cloth diaper from the diaper bag. This should protect her until we get home. I pulled out a plastic bag from my instant sack of preparedness and forced all of the poopy clothes and the blanket into the bag. This will go strait to the washer when we get home.

Kenzie was strapped back into the carseat and I began to wheel her out of the bathroom. I looked back to see if I had left anything... Ooops... The wall. I used toilet paper to wipe the poop, flushed the TP down the toilet and got out of there as fast as I could. Thankfully, no one else had entered the bathroom during this ordeal.

I am sure that I neglected to mention the screaming that occurred during this process. And it was loud!

I do regret the mess that my child made in the bathroom. It was hardly intentional. As my friend Meg keeps saying, I am doing the best that I can. There you go, Mercedes-Benz. You give me a vomit-mobile to drive and my daughter will poop all over your bathroom!