After the title of my last post, it occured to me that I have a membership at one of those massage places. Won't say which one, because I am a little bit peaved and have been wanting to cancel. I currently (well as of last Monday when I checked) have 10 credits (10 1 hour massages) that I need to use or I will lose them if I cancel. And there is no way I am going to lose credit for anything
Why would anyone want to give up on 10 massages? Especially when they don't require the physical therapy torture. Well, let me tell you why...
When I got pregnant with Kenzie, you can't get a massage until after the first trimester. So I waited until I was 14 weeks and went for a "prenatal" massage. Then they told me their policy was to wait until 18 weeks and I would have to provide a doctors note. Okay, fine. So I waited and got a note from my doctor. Then I tried to make an appointment. They only had one therapist that would do the prenatal massage. Guess what... She was always freaking busy. So again, no more appointments. In about the eighth month of my pregnancy, I got really pissed. Can you believe it took me so long? I complained. I emailed the corporate office and so on. So, as a courtesy, they put my membership on hold - for 6 months. During my on hold period I couldn't get a massage or use any of my credits. In exchange, they wouldn't charge me the monthly fee. The credits would keep until the hold period was up. Then I could get massage again.
So, as a swollen 8 month pregnant woman, I went to the new massage club in town. It was just on the outskirts of our subdivision. It was quiet. The people were really nice. And when I walked in, they had immediate availability with someone that gave prenatal massage. OK, can you say "AHHHH!"
Yada yada yada... I signed up. Alan, my new massage guy, was very experienced. He was the lead therapist in the clinic. And did a great job. So, starting at 32 weeks, I went to see Alan once a week until Kenzie was born. :-) So if you are in the Pearland area and need a referral for prenatal massage, I got one!
To continue with the story, Kenzie is born, and at week 6 I go back for a regular massage. I still like Alan, so I figured I would keep up the massage membership. Time fast forwards to November when I notice an interesting charge on my credit card... Oh crap. My 6 months must be up. Kenzie is 6 months old. It makes sense... Then, I go back through my statements and notice I have gotten charged for September, October, and November... Rat bastards! I need to cancel.
I call them up and discover I have 10 credits. Can I cancel the membership? "Certainly, Mrs. B, you can cancel, but you have 10 credits on your account. All credits will be forfeited. The retail value of 10 credits is $800." Well, crap on that. I am not losing those credits.
I set my self a goal. Use all 10 of them between now and December 31st so I can cancel!
I am on a mission. Use 10 credits in 5 weeks. With the Thanksgiving holiday, I have vacation coming up. Chad is taking Cutter and Hunter out of town. Kenzie will be in daycare, so I will knock some of these credits off...
I called Friday to make an appointment. No openings on Saturday. Again, rat bastards! Sunday. 3:00 with David. Okay, how could this be bad?
I get there on Sunday... One down. Nine to go... David turns out to be an odd looking little man who is legally blind. It was a weird massage. Not bad. But weird. David was no Alan. As I am laying there, relaxing, my mind constantly was comparing David to Alan. Alan doesn't do that. Uhhh, that was weird. Does David breathe out of his mouth? Great, now all I can think about is this weird little man breathing out of his mouth, lathering me up with oil and feeling weird. Not relaxed any more. Needless to say. It was ... ehh... marginal at best.
I check out when I leave and Barbie the Bimbo on the computer says, "Would you like to make your next appointment?" Ok. "When?" How about tomorrow? "Great! I noticed you have 9 credits remaining on your account. How about trying our hot stones? Its a 90 minute massage and costs 2 credits." Sounds good, as my ever present goal of using 10 credits in 5 weeks looms over me. "How's tomorrow at 2:30?" Texans game tomorrow... Leaving at 5. 2:30 plus 90 minutes gives me 4:00. Okay I have time. That works for me. Thanks Barbie the Bimbo, I now have a new strategy to achieve my goal!
Monday comes. I am really busy... Shopping, cleaning, laundry. You know. The usual. I am almost late to my massage appointment. I pull into the parking lot at 2:30 on the dot. My therapist this time is named Israel. At the start of the massage, I asked him few questions while we were getting started. He lives in Clute. He used to be an iron worker and did massage part time. Okay. Odd combination. But he got laid off in January and now does massage full time. And is buying a new house in December. You know, the $8000 credit really helped him out. Oh goody! The more we chit chatted the more I realized, this guy ain't the sharpest tool in the shed... for sure. Alan, on the other hand, freelances as a network security guy. He hacks into websites for money to see if they are secure. He knows computers and is fairly intelligent. Alan does a better massage too.
I started to feel like I was cheating on Alan or something. I don't like this massage place, but I am not going to lose those darn credits. So I am wondering, when I go back to Alan for my massage, do I tell him I have been cheating on him?
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Massage-any...
Sunday I got a call from my friend Is wanting to know if I had any plans... I quickly responded that no, we didn't really have any plans. She politely corrected me about the we part. The question was for me, not for the we that I normally respond for. Good-y. Something for me to do. I'm IN. I don't know what the plan or the quest is about, but I am definitely IN.
She asked me if I got the paper. Yes. I have the paper. Well, there was an author that she had read before and he is really funny and wanted to know if I wanted to go hear him with her and maybe another couple of friends. I could read all about him in the Zest of Sunday's paper. I told her sure, I would go, but let me call her back in a few minutes after I discussed it with Chad. (Yeah, right. I got invited to go somewhere, alone, without children or husband, I am going...)
So, I told Chad that Is had called and that we wanted to go somewhere this evening. He got a really funny look on his face. I asked him what the look was about. He said that he didn't want me to go. Nice. Not because he didn't want me to go, but he didn't want to have to handle the hour of hell by himself.
The hour of hell is what we call 6PM to 7PM. This is the hour that we have to feed Cutter. Bathe Cutter and Kenzie and put Cutter to bed. Kenzie usually plays during this time, but she prefers to be held... You know how it is with 2 little ones and only one adult.
Oh yeah, the invitation for me was also accompanied with an invitation for Hunter to go with Nic and J to dinner. (Nic is Hunter's friend, Is's son and J is Is's husband.) Which then puts Chad down one big kid that usually helps with the hour of hell.
And Hailey, who also helps with the hour, was working on physics project building a chair that can support 200 pounds out of corrugated cardboard.
So Chad was going to be by himself if I left. There was a piece of me that felt a little sorry for him. It is a challenge... But the piece of me that felt justified and deserved won out...
I responded to his pouty look with a smile and said. Good. Thanks. We're leaving at about 5:30. :-)
Then I went to get the paper. The full intent was to read about the author that Is mentioned, but the glossy sales papers caught my eye... Oh look- Learning Express coupons. And all the food coupons. I got sidetracked and clipped coupons. Then I organized my grocery list by the order of the store, then I even got online and checked the HEB sales ad to see what was on sale. Ridiculous, I know. The grocery list complete, coupons put in order... I made plans to go to the grocery store in the afternoon, during nap time.
Meanwhile, Chad was making his own plans. He can never sit still. He took Hunter for a haircut then went to the shooting range to check the accuracy of Hunter's deer rifle. Hunter had missed shooting at a hog a couple of weeks ago. He was certain that it was an equipment malfunction. When they got home it was 2:30. I had to go to the store and get to Is's house by 5:30. Sounds like enough time, but for anyone that has been to HEB on Sunday should know that I would be cutting it close...
It took me an hour and 45 minutes to make it through my grocery list and HEB and all of the samples and all of the crowd on a Sunday afternoon. When all was said and done, I saved $35.10 on coupons. And I didn't buy anything that we normally wouldn't buy. It is true that I may not have bought all of these items in the same week, but who can have too many Grand's biscuits on hand? Especially with the holidays coming...
Got to Is's on time... We left to go eat. I didn't have to share my food, or cut up food for someone else's plate. It was a good time. At dinner, I had to confess, I hadn't checked out the author, so Is gave us an overview.
We got to the JCC (Jewish Community Center) about 45 minutes early. One of the other ladies we went with was a Jewish Catholic. (He husband is Jewish, she's Catholic) We asked her for a tour, and she just laughed at us. The JCC was having a book fair. We went in a perused the selection. 20% off during the book fair... No one purchased anything, eventhough they had some good stuff, especially with a discount!
The speech was held in a converted basketball auditorium... But the walls were draped with lots of heavy black curtains. They had decent chairs. And even a lovely selection of fake ficus strategically placed to hide the sound guy... But the most intriguing thing that I saw was the closed captioning. There was a table with a projector set up projecting at the front of the converted gymnasium where they were captioning the entire speech. This perplexed me and captured my attention. As the speech was introduced by a member of the JCC, I could not take my eyes from the screen. Amazing. My ears were hearing what my eyes were seeing with a time delay. Fascinating... And the lady that was doing it was really good. Very few mistakes...
The author spoke for a little over an hour. His voice was whiny and annoying, but he was very witty. His name is AJ Jacobs. I am linking to his website where you can read what he talked about and about his books. They are quite funny. I started reading one this morning. And it is fun. If you have someone difficult to buy for, his books would make a good gift!
As he was speaking, I COULD NOT MOVE my eyes from the closed captioning. And then I started to wonder, how many other people were doing the same thing... I started to notice the giggles when Mr. Jacobs said misogyny and the captionist put "MASSAGE-ANY" on the screen. The context of the speech wasn't at a point where many people would laugh. But I heard several snickers... You know who you are!
I think that in the future the disclaimer should say "Closed captioning for the hearing impaired and the visually stimulated..."
All in all I had a lot of fun. It is so nice to go somewhere without your kids... Mental note: must do this more often!
She asked me if I got the paper. Yes. I have the paper. Well, there was an author that she had read before and he is really funny and wanted to know if I wanted to go hear him with her and maybe another couple of friends. I could read all about him in the Zest of Sunday's paper. I told her sure, I would go, but let me call her back in a few minutes after I discussed it with Chad. (Yeah, right. I got invited to go somewhere, alone, without children or husband, I am going...)
So, I told Chad that Is had called and that we wanted to go somewhere this evening. He got a really funny look on his face. I asked him what the look was about. He said that he didn't want me to go. Nice. Not because he didn't want me to go, but he didn't want to have to handle the hour of hell by himself.
The hour of hell is what we call 6PM to 7PM. This is the hour that we have to feed Cutter. Bathe Cutter and Kenzie and put Cutter to bed. Kenzie usually plays during this time, but she prefers to be held... You know how it is with 2 little ones and only one adult.
Oh yeah, the invitation for me was also accompanied with an invitation for Hunter to go with Nic and J to dinner. (Nic is Hunter's friend, Is's son and J is Is's husband.) Which then puts Chad down one big kid that usually helps with the hour of hell.
And Hailey, who also helps with the hour, was working on physics project building a chair that can support 200 pounds out of corrugated cardboard.
So Chad was going to be by himself if I left. There was a piece of me that felt a little sorry for him. It is a challenge... But the piece of me that felt justified and deserved won out...
I responded to his pouty look with a smile and said. Good. Thanks. We're leaving at about 5:30. :-)
Then I went to get the paper. The full intent was to read about the author that Is mentioned, but the glossy sales papers caught my eye... Oh look- Learning Express coupons. And all the food coupons. I got sidetracked and clipped coupons. Then I organized my grocery list by the order of the store, then I even got online and checked the HEB sales ad to see what was on sale. Ridiculous, I know. The grocery list complete, coupons put in order... I made plans to go to the grocery store in the afternoon, during nap time.
Meanwhile, Chad was making his own plans. He can never sit still. He took Hunter for a haircut then went to the shooting range to check the accuracy of Hunter's deer rifle. Hunter had missed shooting at a hog a couple of weeks ago. He was certain that it was an equipment malfunction. When they got home it was 2:30. I had to go to the store and get to Is's house by 5:30. Sounds like enough time, but for anyone that has been to HEB on Sunday should know that I would be cutting it close...
It took me an hour and 45 minutes to make it through my grocery list and HEB and all of the samples and all of the crowd on a Sunday afternoon. When all was said and done, I saved $35.10 on coupons. And I didn't buy anything that we normally wouldn't buy. It is true that I may not have bought all of these items in the same week, but who can have too many Grand's biscuits on hand? Especially with the holidays coming...
Got to Is's on time... We left to go eat. I didn't have to share my food, or cut up food for someone else's plate. It was a good time. At dinner, I had to confess, I hadn't checked out the author, so Is gave us an overview.
We got to the JCC (Jewish Community Center) about 45 minutes early. One of the other ladies we went with was a Jewish Catholic. (He husband is Jewish, she's Catholic) We asked her for a tour, and she just laughed at us. The JCC was having a book fair. We went in a perused the selection. 20% off during the book fair... No one purchased anything, eventhough they had some good stuff, especially with a discount!
The speech was held in a converted basketball auditorium... But the walls were draped with lots of heavy black curtains. They had decent chairs. And even a lovely selection of fake ficus strategically placed to hide the sound guy... But the most intriguing thing that I saw was the closed captioning. There was a table with a projector set up projecting at the front of the converted gymnasium where they were captioning the entire speech. This perplexed me and captured my attention. As the speech was introduced by a member of the JCC, I could not take my eyes from the screen. Amazing. My ears were hearing what my eyes were seeing with a time delay. Fascinating... And the lady that was doing it was really good. Very few mistakes...
The author spoke for a little over an hour. His voice was whiny and annoying, but he was very witty. His name is AJ Jacobs. I am linking to his website where you can read what he talked about and about his books. They are quite funny. I started reading one this morning. And it is fun. If you have someone difficult to buy for, his books would make a good gift!
As he was speaking, I COULD NOT MOVE my eyes from the closed captioning. And then I started to wonder, how many other people were doing the same thing... I started to notice the giggles when Mr. Jacobs said misogyny and the captionist put "MASSAGE-ANY" on the screen. The context of the speech wasn't at a point where many people would laugh. But I heard several snickers... You know who you are!
I think that in the future the disclaimer should say "Closed captioning for the hearing impaired and the visually stimulated..."
All in all I had a lot of fun. It is so nice to go somewhere without your kids... Mental note: must do this more often!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The Post of all Posts
If you are reading this now... you have found my post before I can upload the text! I will update after I get to work, since my story is on the other computer!
I have lots of stories to tell, but I will start with pictures.
No more Friday night football! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! After a great game, the Mavericks defeated the undefeated Wildcats. The win put them in a tie for the playoffs. The season ended with a coin toss, not in our favor. It was my last game as a drill team mom. (at least for the next 14 years...) I am not sad, but ecstatically happy! Friday nights are now going to be back to normal!
This is Hailey on the field.
Me, Chad, Hailey and practice husband.
Jen in the stands taking pictures. Jen has been a faithful fan all season! Thanks, Jen!
Bekah with Hailey
Bekah with Hunter
Tonight will be Hunter's last football night. Yeah! Yeah! I love football, but I am glad to see the season end... without any injuries, I might add. Did I just jinx it? Last year Hunter acted a little disappointed that more of our family didn't come to see him play. We talked to him about letting everyone know that it was important to him that people come see him play. Apparently he listened. So, throughout the season we have had several visitors, on a Tuesday night, I might add, that have come to watch Hunter's game. Last night as I was getting ready for bed, Hunter handed me his cell phone. It was my dad in Chicago letting me know that his flight would be in tomorrow at 3:45. My stepmom Jeaneane's flight would be in at 3:40. Okay, great. Hunter had worked it out with them that they would be coming for his game, but I didn't even know it. Glad for Hunter, but holy cow, Elvia didn't come this week and the house is a wreck! Oh well. They will understand....
Halloween was fun. Here is Cutter, dressed as a skunk:
He willingly went to a couple of houses in our neighborhood. The only candy he likes is suckers... Well, the only candy he has tried are suckers. The kit kats and the peanut butter cups are for me!
Kenzie has learned to sit... I still feel like I need to protect her from falling, though...
And the best thing is that she is laughing out loud now. The funny part is the only person that can get her to do it is Cutter. For the rest of us, she just swallows the laugh and holds it in. Check out her giggle!
And now, my random thoughts and a peculiar story...
When is it time for you to change your friend's name in your phone / contacts list after they get married and their name changes? Just curious. Is 3 years long enough? Do you do it immediately? I don't know... I have several friends that have married and I still haven't changed their names on my list. Just curious what you thought.
What do you do when your husband tells you he just picked up a bag of crack in your daycare parking lot?
Let me say it again.
What do you do when your husband tells you he just picked up a bag of crack in the daycare parking lot?
Yes. This actually happened. Last week, Chad and I were carpooling to work. First, we drop Cutter and Kenzie off at daycare, right by the house. He gets out of the truck to get Cutter. I got out and got Kenzie. I carried Kenzie and her bottle bag and all of her crap in and hand her over to the babysitter in the baby room. I heard Chad in the hallway ask where there bathroom was. I thought that Cutter had probably "gooed" him and he needed to wash his hands or something like that. When I finished with Kenzie, he was waiting for me in the hallway. I waved to Cutter in the breakfast room and headed back to the truck. Chad was looking a little funny - shifting his eyes right and left...
Chad: Are you still writing your blog.
Funny question. (especially since it has been 2 weeks since I have updated it.)
Me: Of course I am still writing my blog!
Chad: Well, here's one for you... I just flushed a bag full of crack down the toilet.
Me: What? Are you freaking kidding me. Crack?!? How do you know it was crack.
Chad: (gives me the "you are so stupid look") Uh, I worked in a jail. It was crack.
Me: No it wasn't.
Chad: Yes. Yes it was. And someone is going to be pissed when they figure out they lost it. It was a lot.
Okay. Great way to start the day. I just left my two babies at a daycare where there was CRACK in the parking lot. No freaking way.
Chad reminds me that it was probably a parent. It could be an employee, but it wasn't where the employees park. He found it in the parking lot when he opened his door, just like it had fallen out or something. He said he picked it up because he didn't want Cutter to put it in his mouth. Then he realized what it was and went inside to flush it.
I asked him why he didn't report it to the police. Again, the "you are so stupid look". He didn't want his name on it. Okay. I get that. So now we have contaminated the water supply. Even better.
So what do you do with this information? Let me know your thoughts! I will update tomorrow!
I have lots of stories to tell, but I will start with pictures.
No more Friday night football! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! After a great game, the Mavericks defeated the undefeated Wildcats. The win put them in a tie for the playoffs. The season ended with a coin toss, not in our favor. It was my last game as a drill team mom. (at least for the next 14 years...) I am not sad, but ecstatically happy! Friday nights are now going to be back to normal!
This is Hailey on the field.
Me, Chad, Hailey and practice husband.
Jen in the stands taking pictures. Jen has been a faithful fan all season! Thanks, Jen!
Bekah with Hailey
Bekah with Hunter
Tonight will be Hunter's last football night. Yeah! Yeah! I love football, but I am glad to see the season end... without any injuries, I might add. Did I just jinx it? Last year Hunter acted a little disappointed that more of our family didn't come to see him play. We talked to him about letting everyone know that it was important to him that people come see him play. Apparently he listened. So, throughout the season we have had several visitors, on a Tuesday night, I might add, that have come to watch Hunter's game. Last night as I was getting ready for bed, Hunter handed me his cell phone. It was my dad in Chicago letting me know that his flight would be in tomorrow at 3:45. My stepmom Jeaneane's flight would be in at 3:40. Okay, great. Hunter had worked it out with them that they would be coming for his game, but I didn't even know it. Glad for Hunter, but holy cow, Elvia didn't come this week and the house is a wreck! Oh well. They will understand....
Halloween was fun. Here is Cutter, dressed as a skunk:
He willingly went to a couple of houses in our neighborhood. The only candy he likes is suckers... Well, the only candy he has tried are suckers. The kit kats and the peanut butter cups are for me!
Kenzie has learned to sit... I still feel like I need to protect her from falling, though...
And the best thing is that she is laughing out loud now. The funny part is the only person that can get her to do it is Cutter. For the rest of us, she just swallows the laugh and holds it in. Check out her giggle!
And now, my random thoughts and a peculiar story...
When is it time for you to change your friend's name in your phone / contacts list after they get married and their name changes? Just curious. Is 3 years long enough? Do you do it immediately? I don't know... I have several friends that have married and I still haven't changed their names on my list. Just curious what you thought.
What do you do when your husband tells you he just picked up a bag of crack in your daycare parking lot?
Let me say it again.
What do you do when your husband tells you he just picked up a bag of crack in the daycare parking lot?
Yes. This actually happened. Last week, Chad and I were carpooling to work. First, we drop Cutter and Kenzie off at daycare, right by the house. He gets out of the truck to get Cutter. I got out and got Kenzie. I carried Kenzie and her bottle bag and all of her crap in and hand her over to the babysitter in the baby room. I heard Chad in the hallway ask where there bathroom was. I thought that Cutter had probably "gooed" him and he needed to wash his hands or something like that. When I finished with Kenzie, he was waiting for me in the hallway. I waved to Cutter in the breakfast room and headed back to the truck. Chad was looking a little funny - shifting his eyes right and left...
Chad: Are you still writing your blog.
Funny question. (especially since it has been 2 weeks since I have updated it.)
Me: Of course I am still writing my blog!
Chad: Well, here's one for you... I just flushed a bag full of crack down the toilet.
Me: What? Are you freaking kidding me. Crack?!? How do you know it was crack.
Chad: (gives me the "you are so stupid look") Uh, I worked in a jail. It was crack.
Me: No it wasn't.
Chad: Yes. Yes it was. And someone is going to be pissed when they figure out they lost it. It was a lot.
Okay. Great way to start the day. I just left my two babies at a daycare where there was CRACK in the parking lot. No freaking way.
Chad reminds me that it was probably a parent. It could be an employee, but it wasn't where the employees park. He found it in the parking lot when he opened his door, just like it had fallen out or something. He said he picked it up because he didn't want Cutter to put it in his mouth. Then he realized what it was and went inside to flush it.
I asked him why he didn't report it to the police. Again, the "you are so stupid look". He didn't want his name on it. Okay. I get that. So now we have contaminated the water supply. Even better.
So what do you do with this information? Let me know your thoughts! I will update tomorrow!
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