Good news. The duck signs haven't been posted. Apparently, there must be 2 signs for them to be effective. Phone call that I over heard last night.
Husband's cell phone.
"Hello." looks annoyed.
"No, I did not."
"No. Not tonight."
"Uh-huh. Maybe tomorrow."
Hang up. And laugh out loud.
"What was that about?" I asked.
"KK and the duck signs. Last night I helped her with one sign, but the battery on my saw died, I was tired and annoyed, so I told her that another sign would have to wait."
Apparently, KK has decided that Chad will build her signs for her. Chad thought that building one was amusing, but building two is annoying. She should just buy the signs... The homeowners association will pick them up anyway. The sign hasn't been posted, but, I am certain that KK will call again tonight and if Chad feels like it, he will complete the other sign.
Randomness.
This morning as we were both getting ready for work, the TV was on. I wasn't paying attention, but Chad, who can't hear me talk if the TV is on, heard (over his electric shaver running, the faucet on, and me talking to the baby) the news that Senator Ted Kennedy had passed. He jumped and said, "Did you hear that?" Uh... No. What? "Did they just say Ted Kennedy died?"
He hit rewind on the remote control to confirm it. Hmmm. What did we ever do before having a DVR?
As I drove to work this morning playing the game I play every morning... (Which car makes it to 610 first) I was listening to the radio. Then, during a strategic move to stay ahead of one Toyota Camry, I realized I missed the first part of a somewhat interesting story. I quickly went for the rewind button.
Crap. There is no rewind on live radio... But can you imagine? Being able to talk on your cell phone, rewind live radio, and play a traffic game against other people that don't even know they are playing? How fun would that be?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Ducks
Very recently, I posted about our next door neighbors. Well, last night, the phone rang, and a story too funny not to tell began.
In the subdivision where we live, there was a grouping of ducks, maybe 10 or so, that lived in the water retention pond near our house. The ducks are well known to the kids. They are fed by probably every kid under the age of 5 in the whole subdivision. The ducks are certainly not hungry.
In the spring, our neighbors (the ones from the cultural event of the year) began collecting what appeared to be duck eggs. They looked it up on the internet and constructed an incubator for duck eggs and proceeded to hatch and release back to the "wild" 20 more ducks. They feel a great deal of "ownership" with respect to the ducks. They buy duck feed (I guess from a feedstore) and feed them nutritious food perfectly formulated for a ducks diet. (I guess the whole wheat stale bread and popcorn that everyone else feeds them isn't good enough. PS - Ducks don't like pancakes and I know this because, well, you get the picture)
The weekend of the cultural event of the year, yes, I am sad to report, one duck didn't make it. The duck lost his battle with an automobile. People tend to drive a little fast. Apparently the smart duck food didn't work for this duck.
Last night Chad was putting Cutter to bed and his cell phone rang. I hopped up to see who it was, thinking it was one of his brothers or someone like that. It was KK, our neighbor. I thought about not answering, but I know her and if she wants something from Chad, she will keep on until she gets it - calling our home number, my cell phone, etc. until someone, anyone answers. So I answered it.
"Hello?"
"Chad?"
"No, this is Melody."
"I need Chad."
"He is putting Cutter to bed right now."
"Well, I need him as soon as possible."
"Is there something wrong?"
"Yes."
"Ummm... Can I help?"
"I have to have wood and I know you have wood in your garage."
Okay lady. Just go take what you want.
"Well, Chad is busy right now. I will have him call you when he is finished."
"So can I have the wood?"
"I don't know. He has been working on the deer blind and has been using the wood we have in the garage. I don't know what he has left."
"Well its still in the garage. I can see it."
"Okay. Well, I'll have Chad call you. Why do you need wood?" I don't know if she'll tell me, but what they heck, she is already digging in our garage...
"We have to make signs."
"Signs? What signs do we need out here?" I am intrigued.
"Duck Crossing. Did you know that last weekend there were 2 ducks killed?"
"No. I didn't know that." I only knew about the one...
"I will have Chad call you."
After relaying my conversation to Chad. He laughs. This ought to be a good one.
Apparently KK, after the wedding, found both ducks and buried them in her back yard. She is very upset about these duck MURDERS. Something must be done about it... Chad explained that real signs could be purchased off the internet, if that was what she wanted. Her reply...
"Since the wedding, we don't have any cash."
Will post a picture of the signs as soon as they are completed!
In the subdivision where we live, there was a grouping of ducks, maybe 10 or so, that lived in the water retention pond near our house. The ducks are well known to the kids. They are fed by probably every kid under the age of 5 in the whole subdivision. The ducks are certainly not hungry.
In the spring, our neighbors (the ones from the cultural event of the year) began collecting what appeared to be duck eggs. They looked it up on the internet and constructed an incubator for duck eggs and proceeded to hatch and release back to the "wild" 20 more ducks. They feel a great deal of "ownership" with respect to the ducks. They buy duck feed (I guess from a feedstore) and feed them nutritious food perfectly formulated for a ducks diet. (I guess the whole wheat stale bread and popcorn that everyone else feeds them isn't good enough. PS - Ducks don't like pancakes and I know this because, well, you get the picture)
The weekend of the cultural event of the year, yes, I am sad to report, one duck didn't make it. The duck lost his battle with an automobile. People tend to drive a little fast. Apparently the smart duck food didn't work for this duck.
Last night Chad was putting Cutter to bed and his cell phone rang. I hopped up to see who it was, thinking it was one of his brothers or someone like that. It was KK, our neighbor. I thought about not answering, but I know her and if she wants something from Chad, she will keep on until she gets it - calling our home number, my cell phone, etc. until someone, anyone answers. So I answered it.
"Hello?"
"Chad?"
"No, this is Melody."
"I need Chad."
"He is putting Cutter to bed right now."
"Well, I need him as soon as possible."
"Is there something wrong?"
"Yes."
"Ummm... Can I help?"
"I have to have wood and I know you have wood in your garage."
Okay lady. Just go take what you want.
"Well, Chad is busy right now. I will have him call you when he is finished."
"So can I have the wood?"
"I don't know. He has been working on the deer blind and has been using the wood we have in the garage. I don't know what he has left."
"Well its still in the garage. I can see it."
"Okay. Well, I'll have Chad call you. Why do you need wood?" I don't know if she'll tell me, but what they heck, she is already digging in our garage...
"We have to make signs."
"Signs? What signs do we need out here?" I am intrigued.
"Duck Crossing. Did you know that last weekend there were 2 ducks killed?"
"No. I didn't know that." I only knew about the one...
"I will have Chad call you."
After relaying my conversation to Chad. He laughs. This ought to be a good one.
Apparently KK, after the wedding, found both ducks and buried them in her back yard. She is very upset about these duck MURDERS. Something must be done about it... Chad explained that real signs could be purchased off the internet, if that was what she wanted. Her reply...
"Since the wedding, we don't have any cash."
Will post a picture of the signs as soon as they are completed!
Work - A butt busting good day
Went back to work last Friday. :-( But, it was an easy day. My mother-in-law babysat, so Kenzie wasn't at daycare. We had a staff meeting in the morning (breakfast provided. thanks for the bagels, maria!) Went out to lunch. :-) Then birthday cake in the afternoon. I wish every day could be like this! But, it's not. :-(
Monday was the real deal. Daycare, work, no meetings, I brought my lunch. Mondays stink.
And Mondays really stink when, let's say, you walk to the printer to pick-up some documents that need to be reviewed. Casually, you walk back toward your office. About 6 feet or so from your door, your ankle rolls and BAM, you have fallen on your a*&. Quickly you hop up and pretend that nothing happens. No one was in the hall. Maybe no one noticed. But, you fail to realize that when you fell on your toucas, the ceiling tiles on the floor b
elow you fell off and there was a very loud noise that prompted several of your co-workers including the worldwide VP whose office is two doors down, to run to your aid because it sounded like a file cabinet fell down.
Nope. No file cabinet. Just me.
I am not hurt. My ankle is fine. I feel stupid because I apparently don't remember how to walk when you wear real shoes, not flip flops. Hmmm. Flip flops. Maybe I should wear those tomorrow.
Other than that, work is work. Kenzie survived daycare and so did I. I miss her, but I have some great new pictures. Here is how she smiles!
Monday was the real deal. Daycare, work, no meetings, I brought my lunch. Mondays stink.
And Mondays really stink when, let's say, you walk to the printer to pick-up some documents that need to be reviewed. Casually, you walk back toward your office. About 6 feet or so from your door, your ankle rolls and BAM, you have fallen on your a*&. Quickly you hop up and pretend that nothing happens. No one was in the hall. Maybe no one noticed. But, you fail to realize that when you fell on your toucas, the ceiling tiles on the floor b
elow you fell off and there was a very loud noise that prompted several of your co-workers including the worldwide VP whose office is two doors down, to run to your aid because it sounded like a file cabinet fell down.Nope. No file cabinet. Just me.
I am not hurt. My ankle is fine. I feel stupid because I apparently don't remember how to walk when you wear real shoes, not flip flops. Hmmm. Flip flops. Maybe I should wear those tomorrow.
Other than that, work is work. Kenzie survived daycare and so did I. I miss her, but I have some great new pictures. Here is how she smiles!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Cultural Event of the Year
On Saturday, Chad and I were to attend the wedding reception of our next door neighbors' son. They are Vietnamese that immigrated to the US in 1990. As such, some aspects of their integration into American ways is lacking. The wedding ceremony was to be traditional Vietnamese held in the home of the grooms' parents. Right Next Door. Guests are not invited to the ceremony, only the reception. The reception was to be held at a Vietnamese restaurant banquet room where a traditional Vietnamese Dinner (10 complete courses) would be served.
Oh goody. I can't wait. I can't stand these neighbors.
The husband is a doctor. He has two jobs and rarely has a day off. He is quiet and is likeable. He likes to garden, so he says, but I question this. There is always quite a variety of things growing out of pots but it doesn't ever look quite right to me. He also takes LOTS of photographs.
The wife WAS a doctor in Vietnam, but did not recredential in the US. She got a masters in hospital administration instead and now doesn't work, but takes care of various family members and watches our garage door to make sure we keep it down... Funny enough, she was a psychiatrist.
Oldest son is an attorney that isn't working and still lives at home. He is 34. Youngest son is in medical school and is the most American of the bunch. Youngest son is the groom. We don't know youngest son very well.
The wife asked us no less than 37 times if we would be going to the reception. I claimed that we had a family reunion that weekend and would be out of town. The wife then told Chad that she would be singing and she would love for him to see her sing. She is famous for singing at weddings, dontcha know. Chad says, well then of course we will be there. Imagine the dirtiest look one can give your husband. That is how my face looked when he verbally accepted the invitation. Crap. Now I have to get a gift and everything. What a pain.
Later, in the privacy of our bedroom I asked him why on God's green earth did he tell her we would go? He laughed and said that this would be a night we would never forget and we would be able to laugh about it for years. She was going to SING! How funny would that be. He better be right.
**A couple of side stories about these neighbors...
The wife asked another one of our neighbors one day if she could store some carpet they had had removed in their garage. (Yes, they removed 5 year old carpet from their house and asked someone else to store it for them in the garage.)
The neighbor said "No."
The wife said, "It doesn't take up much room."
The neighbor said, "Then store it in your garage."
The wife said, "Well, let me know when I can bring it over."
The door was shut in her face.
Another neighbor had been known to loan her a (car) battery charger.
The wife asks, "Do you use the charger often?"
The neighbor said,"Not really."
The wife then says, "Well, I'll just keep it then. Let me know if you need to use it."
This is the type of neighbor she is. I really didn't want to waste an entire Saturday evening on this event! I lost. I bought a gift. (A waffle maker) And off we went.
We arrived on time (6PM) and were, like, the only ones there. Seriously, there were maybe 20 people in the whole place with tables for 600 people. Great. But, they had beer and fruit. This was the first course. Finally at about 7:30, they start the introductions. Almost everything was in Vietnamese with occasional English blurbs thrown in. Then, the singing begins. Our neighbor starts to sing... in French. She sings 3 songs in French. And they were quite good. We were laughing because it was actually really good. The next course started at about 7:45 and continued for the next 2 hours. Following is my description of each of the courses. Don't know the names because I couldn't read the menu. Here goes:
Shrimp and pork salad with interesting dressing.
Seafood and tofu soup
Shrimp ball with piece of sugarcane sticking out of the side
Shrimp pounded flat with crab meat and a sauce that tasted like pumpkin pie on top
Duck wrapped in puff pastry and deep fried
BBQ lobster with nothing to crack it with except your knife, fork, or chop sticks
Beef tenderloin rolled up with a peppercorn sauce
Fried Rice
All of the food was good. I would go back to this restaurant and eat. I may not be able to order it because I don't think my descriptions translate well, but it was good.
But what about the wedding cake? There was a cake at the center of the stage. Surely we were going to eat that? People started to leave. Hmmm. Chad asked me if I wanted to leave. No. I want cake. Besides, we have been pleasantly enjoying this experience until this point.
Wiating.... Waiting... An hour goes by. Finally, the cake is cut. Waiting... Waiting. Where is the waiter to bring our cake? I just knew it was going to be good. It was pretty. I am sure it was expensive. I love wedding cake.
At 10:40 we were served wedding cake. Chad got a green piece I got a chocolate piece. We each took a bite. We busted out laughing. Dang it. It tasted like a sponge. It was terrible. I waited an hour for a frosted sponge. It was time to leave. Maybe we will drive thru Sonic on the way home. I needed something sweet!
The next morning we see everyone coming and going next door. The funniest thing was watching the husband "un" decorate the town car that the bride and groom drove around in. They had taken 2" pink satin ribbon and pink silk roses and attached them to the car in strips. And you thought shoe polish and condoms were bad. I snuck (i don't think that's a word) a picture from inside the car....
And this is my life... :-)
Oh goody. I can't wait. I can't stand these neighbors.
The husband is a doctor. He has two jobs and rarely has a day off. He is quiet and is likeable. He likes to garden, so he says, but I question this. There is always quite a variety of things growing out of pots but it doesn't ever look quite right to me. He also takes LOTS of photographs.
The wife WAS a doctor in Vietnam, but did not recredential in the US. She got a masters in hospital administration instead and now doesn't work, but takes care of various family members and watches our garage door to make sure we keep it down... Funny enough, she was a psychiatrist.
Oldest son is an attorney that isn't working and still lives at home. He is 34. Youngest son is in medical school and is the most American of the bunch. Youngest son is the groom. We don't know youngest son very well.
The wife asked us no less than 37 times if we would be going to the reception. I claimed that we had a family reunion that weekend and would be out of town. The wife then told Chad that she would be singing and she would love for him to see her sing. She is famous for singing at weddings, dontcha know. Chad says, well then of course we will be there. Imagine the dirtiest look one can give your husband. That is how my face looked when he verbally accepted the invitation. Crap. Now I have to get a gift and everything. What a pain.
Later, in the privacy of our bedroom I asked him why on God's green earth did he tell her we would go? He laughed and said that this would be a night we would never forget and we would be able to laugh about it for years. She was going to SING! How funny would that be. He better be right.
**A couple of side stories about these neighbors...
The wife asked another one of our neighbors one day if she could store some carpet they had had removed in their garage. (Yes, they removed 5 year old carpet from their house and asked someone else to store it for them in the garage.)
The neighbor said "No."
The wife said, "It doesn't take up much room."
The neighbor said, "Then store it in your garage."
The wife said, "Well, let me know when I can bring it over."
The door was shut in her face.
Another neighbor had been known to loan her a (car) battery charger.
The wife asks, "Do you use the charger often?"
The neighbor said,"Not really."
The wife then says, "Well, I'll just keep it then. Let me know if you need to use it."
This is the type of neighbor she is. I really didn't want to waste an entire Saturday evening on this event! I lost. I bought a gift. (A waffle maker) And off we went.
We arrived on time (6PM) and were, like, the only ones there. Seriously, there were maybe 20 people in the whole place with tables for 600 people. Great. But, they had beer and fruit. This was the first course. Finally at about 7:30, they start the introductions. Almost everything was in Vietnamese with occasional English blurbs thrown in. Then, the singing begins. Our neighbor starts to sing... in French. She sings 3 songs in French. And they were quite good. We were laughing because it was actually really good. The next course started at about 7:45 and continued for the next 2 hours. Following is my description of each of the courses. Don't know the names because I couldn't read the menu. Here goes:
Shrimp and pork salad with interesting dressing.
Seafood and tofu soup
Shrimp ball with piece of sugarcane sticking out of the side
Shrimp pounded flat with crab meat and a sauce that tasted like pumpkin pie on top
Duck wrapped in puff pastry and deep fried
BBQ lobster with nothing to crack it with except your knife, fork, or chop sticks
Beef tenderloin rolled up with a peppercorn sauce
Fried Rice
All of the food was good. I would go back to this restaurant and eat. I may not be able to order it because I don't think my descriptions translate well, but it was good.
But what about the wedding cake? There was a cake at the center of the stage. Surely we were going to eat that? People started to leave. Hmmm. Chad asked me if I wanted to leave. No. I want cake. Besides, we have been pleasantly enjoying this experience until this point.
Wiating.... Waiting... An hour goes by. Finally, the cake is cut. Waiting... Waiting. Where is the waiter to bring our cake? I just knew it was going to be good. It was pretty. I am sure it was expensive. I love wedding cake.
At 10:40 we were served wedding cake. Chad got a green piece I got a chocolate piece. We each took a bite. We busted out laughing. Dang it. It tasted like a sponge. It was terrible. I waited an hour for a frosted sponge. It was time to leave. Maybe we will drive thru Sonic on the way home. I needed something sweet!
The next morning we see everyone coming and going next door. The funniest thing was watching the husband "un" decorate the town car that the bride and groom drove around in. They had taken 2" pink satin ribbon and pink silk roses and attached them to the car in strips. And you thought shoe polish and condoms were bad. I snuck (i don't think that's a word) a picture from inside the car....
And this is my life... :-)
Sunday, August 16, 2009
The New Truck
Going through the car-buying game is not one that I enjoy. In fact, Chad prefers that I speak to no car sales people at all. When I am looking for a car, I can drive the cars, ask questions, select colors and features, but that's about it. I am not supposed to discuss the "deal". But, the internet is changing things.
As a recap, we had to buy a vehicle on Friday. We had cash, a pre-approved loan, and a make and model selected. This should not be that difficult. But, as usual, the simplest of tasks can become all consuming.
Chad did not go to work, and we started the day by visiting our personal banker and getting our loan situated. All we needed now was a vehicle. The first dealership was a complete and utter strike out. Chad had called them on the phone asking for a particular truck. They said they had it. We drove half an hour to see it. They lied. Car people suck.
So, we got a little wiser. Using the internet as our guide, Chad would call a dealership, I would give him a stock number, and he would ask if they had it on the lot. Unfortunately, the internet inventory is not always updated up to the minute. Finally at about 3:00 we located a truck that had exactly what he wanted on it and it was even the right color. We called.
"Yes, I was calling about a 2010 Toyota Tundra Stock Number 106277. Do you have this truck?"
"Yes, sir. It is in our system."
"Yes, I see that it is in your system, but do you HAVE it?"
"Uhhh... Let me go check. I'll call you back."
5 minutes later
Ring Ring
"Hello?"
"Today is your lucky day. The truck you were looking for was out for dealer trade, but I have the keys in my hand and I can sell it to you. It will be $2200 off internet discount. Plus the $3000 Toyota incentive. Do you have a clunker?"
"No."
"Okay, the price is MSRP less discounts and incentives of $5200. How does that sound."
"We will be there in 30 minutes."
Chad likes the price. :)
We dash off to the next dealership. When we get there, we ride through the inventory to see if we can find the truck.
And there it was... It was almost as if angels were singing. Rainbows and sunlight were shining on the truck. We parked near it. I hopped out to look at it. Chad stayed in the car. He said he would stay with Kenzie while I looked first.
I peered into the windows and walked all the way around it. Yep. I was looking at Chad's new truck. I quickly walked back to the car. "Okay. You're going to buy it." He smiled and said, "I know."
We quickly test drove it and I left to go pick up the munchkin from daycare while Chad proceeded with "The Deal" without me. And yada yada yada, he drove it home. Interestingly enough, as of this writing, the financing on the truck is STILL not complete. Why are the finance guys at car dealerships such a**holes?
Well, anyway. Here it is, complete with a deer feeder in the back. On Monday Chad had to take it straight to the deer lease and try out the four wheel drive...and put out some corn.
As a recap, we had to buy a vehicle on Friday. We had cash, a pre-approved loan, and a make and model selected. This should not be that difficult. But, as usual, the simplest of tasks can become all consuming.
Chad did not go to work, and we started the day by visiting our personal banker and getting our loan situated. All we needed now was a vehicle. The first dealership was a complete and utter strike out. Chad had called them on the phone asking for a particular truck. They said they had it. We drove half an hour to see it. They lied. Car people suck.
So, we got a little wiser. Using the internet as our guide, Chad would call a dealership, I would give him a stock number, and he would ask if they had it on the lot. Unfortunately, the internet inventory is not always updated up to the minute. Finally at about 3:00 we located a truck that had exactly what he wanted on it and it was even the right color. We called.
"Yes, I was calling about a 2010 Toyota Tundra Stock Number 106277. Do you have this truck?"
"Yes, sir. It is in our system."
"Yes, I see that it is in your system, but do you HAVE it?"
"Uhhh... Let me go check. I'll call you back."
5 minutes later
Ring Ring
"Hello?"
"Today is your lucky day. The truck you were looking for was out for dealer trade, but I have the keys in my hand and I can sell it to you. It will be $2200 off internet discount. Plus the $3000 Toyota incentive. Do you have a clunker?"
"No."
"Okay, the price is MSRP less discounts and incentives of $5200. How does that sound."
"We will be there in 30 minutes."
Chad likes the price. :)
We dash off to the next dealership. When we get there, we ride through the inventory to see if we can find the truck.
And there it was... It was almost as if angels were singing. Rainbows and sunlight were shining on the truck. We parked near it. I hopped out to look at it. Chad stayed in the car. He said he would stay with Kenzie while I looked first.
I peered into the windows and walked all the way around it. Yep. I was looking at Chad's new truck. I quickly walked back to the car. "Okay. You're going to buy it." He smiled and said, "I know."
We quickly test drove it and I left to go pick up the munchkin from daycare while Chad proceeded with "The Deal" without me. And yada yada yada, he drove it home. Interestingly enough, as of this writing, the financing on the truck is STILL not complete. Why are the finance guys at car dealerships such a**holes?
Well, anyway. Here it is, complete with a deer feeder in the back. On Monday Chad had to take it straight to the deer lease and try out the four wheel drive...and put out some corn.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Chad's Luck
In Chad's family, there is a joke. Anytime anything crazy happens to Chad, he comes out "smelling like a rose..." For example, if he mentioned one day that he sure would like some extra cash to buy something, a check miraculously appears in the mail. (True story) He gets pulled over for speeding, he happens to have gone to school with the police officer. (True story) He participates in a family fishing tournament, and wins - with 4 fish that weigh only 5 pounds. (Also true story) As his wife, I am usually a beneficiary of his good luck. However, last night, I began to question Chad's good luck.
Chad has had "the Fever." You know. The new car kind. He, unlike me, does not tend to burn through cars. Well, not as bad as me. But, he has had it in his head he wants a truck. Like now. And since I just got the Mercedes Minivan... well, he was due a truck.
I should have known Tuesday night when I got home from a meeting at school that things were getting ready to happen. At 8:30 at night, Chad was vacuuming and armor-all-ing the Beast. He touch-up painted, waxed, and in general, cleaned that Nissan Armada like it hadn't been cleaned in the 5 years we have had it. He had had it appraised at a dealer and was not satisfied with the trade-in allowance. I supposed that he was going to take pictures and list it online. But... it rained. No pictures that day. I didn't think much about it until yesterday.
I had plans to go to a friends house for dinner. Around 4 o'clock, I got a call from Chad.
"Do you know where the title is to the Beast?"
"Uh... yeah."
"Where is it?"
"Why?.... It's in the office." (not in the safety deposit box where it should be...)
"Well, I might need it."
The only reason you need a title is if you are SELLING something. Right? Apparently Chad had listed the Armada on Craigs List at lunch and had already received a call. At this point I laughed it off. Whatever. No one actually sells a car in like 4 hours.
I pulled the title out of the folder that has been waiting for return to the safety deposit box and got ready to go to dinner. Chad comes home and has that look, the look that says "I got one!" I shake my head and leave.
While at dinner, my phone rings. Chad mobile. Crap. What does he want?
"Hello?"
"How's dinner?"
"We haven't started eating yet."
"Oh. I'm going to North Houston to meet that guy."
"Really?"
"He wants to look at the truck."
"Hmmm. Okay."
"If this deal goes down, can you come get me?"
"Sure." Like that's really going to happen.
While I am eating risotto and roasted chicken, phone rings again. Chad mobile.
"Helllll-ooooo????"
"Can you come get me? They bought it."
"Where are you?"
"At a McDonalds on 45." The location is in the HOOD! Not taking the baby there. I asked my hostess if I could leave Kenzie while I retrieved my carless husband.
I drive over to the McDonalds and see Chad sitting on a curb next to the Armada with a stack of crap next him including 2 carseats. I parked and Chad transferred 5 years of tool accumulation and miscellaneous items into my car. And I am standing there in disbelief as a Hispanic family drives away in our Nissan Armada, the car we lovingly have referred to as "the Beast" for the last 5 years.
Chad seems to be in a hurry. And then it dawns on me. The only reason he would have sold it was if there were "Benjamin Franklins" involved. Yes. We are standing in the parking lot of an inner city McDonalds and he has $11,000 cash in his pocket.
We get in the car. And even Chad's eyes are a little big. He pulls a pistol from his pocket and puts it in the glovebox. I don't even have to ask. "You really didn't think I was going to meet some unknown guy and carry out a cash transaction without a gun, did you?" Well, no, of course not.
And then he pulled out the cash. Neither one of us has ever held that much cash at once. Chad had to count it, again. I asked him, "How did this happen?" Chad said they needed a car, like today. (I have been there - like, 2 weeks ago.) The guy drove the car. Asked lots of questions that Chad swears he answered truthfully. They negotiated. Chad went down $100 from full Kelly Blue Book retail. He said the $100 was worth being able to tell this story a few times. The guy handed him the money in $600 increments. (That one I don't get) Chad looked at the bills to make sure they were authentic and then he completed the title and handed it over. In the McDonalds parking lot.
Okay. So the Beast is gone. What are we going to do now? I have lunch plans tomorrow. And I am not going to be without a car... We can't survive as a family with only one car.
"Chad - what are we going to do now?"
"I don't know. I guess I won't be going to work tomorrow."
You got that right. You'll have to call in "I don't have a car."
Seriously? Now WE (I have to be involved since he can't drive himself since he sold his car) have to go buy a truck, TODAY. What a way to start the weekend.
And this is how Chad's luck affects me. Who do you know that can list a car on Craigs List and SELL it the same day? Who carries out a car sale like a drug deal in a McDonalds parking lot?
My husband.
Chad has had "the Fever." You know. The new car kind. He, unlike me, does not tend to burn through cars. Well, not as bad as me. But, he has had it in his head he wants a truck. Like now. And since I just got the Mercedes Minivan... well, he was due a truck.
I should have known Tuesday night when I got home from a meeting at school that things were getting ready to happen. At 8:30 at night, Chad was vacuuming and armor-all-ing the Beast. He touch-up painted, waxed, and in general, cleaned that Nissan Armada like it hadn't been cleaned in the 5 years we have had it. He had had it appraised at a dealer and was not satisfied with the trade-in allowance. I supposed that he was going to take pictures and list it online. But... it rained. No pictures that day. I didn't think much about it until yesterday.
I had plans to go to a friends house for dinner. Around 4 o'clock, I got a call from Chad.
"Do you know where the title is to the Beast?"
"Uh... yeah."
"Where is it?"
"Why?.... It's in the office." (not in the safety deposit box where it should be...)
"Well, I might need it."
The only reason you need a title is if you are SELLING something. Right? Apparently Chad had listed the Armada on Craigs List at lunch and had already received a call. At this point I laughed it off. Whatever. No one actually sells a car in like 4 hours.
I pulled the title out of the folder that has been waiting for return to the safety deposit box and got ready to go to dinner. Chad comes home and has that look, the look that says "I got one!" I shake my head and leave.
While at dinner, my phone rings. Chad mobile. Crap. What does he want?
"Hello?"
"How's dinner?"
"We haven't started eating yet."
"Oh. I'm going to North Houston to meet that guy."
"Really?"
"He wants to look at the truck."
"Hmmm. Okay."
"If this deal goes down, can you come get me?"
"Sure." Like that's really going to happen.
While I am eating risotto and roasted chicken, phone rings again. Chad mobile.
"Helllll-ooooo????"
"Can you come get me? They bought it."
"Where are you?"
"At a McDonalds on 45." The location is in the HOOD! Not taking the baby there. I asked my hostess if I could leave Kenzie while I retrieved my carless husband.
I drive over to the McDonalds and see Chad sitting on a curb next to the Armada with a stack of crap next him including 2 carseats. I parked and Chad transferred 5 years of tool accumulation and miscellaneous items into my car. And I am standing there in disbelief as a Hispanic family drives away in our Nissan Armada, the car we lovingly have referred to as "the Beast" for the last 5 years.
Chad seems to be in a hurry. And then it dawns on me. The only reason he would have sold it was if there were "Benjamin Franklins" involved. Yes. We are standing in the parking lot of an inner city McDonalds and he has $11,000 cash in his pocket.
We get in the car. And even Chad's eyes are a little big. He pulls a pistol from his pocket and puts it in the glovebox. I don't even have to ask. "You really didn't think I was going to meet some unknown guy and carry out a cash transaction without a gun, did you?" Well, no, of course not.
Okay. So the Beast is gone. What are we going to do now? I have lunch plans tomorrow. And I am not going to be without a car... We can't survive as a family with only one car.
"Chad - what are we going to do now?"
"I don't know. I guess I won't be going to work tomorrow."
You got that right. You'll have to call in "I don't have a car."
Seriously? Now WE (I have to be involved since he can't drive himself since he sold his car) have to go buy a truck, TODAY. What a way to start the weekend.
And this is how Chad's luck affects me. Who do you know that can list a car on Craigs List and SELL it the same day? Who carries out a car sale like a drug deal in a McDonalds parking lot?
My husband.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Mercedes and Poop
I have finally experienced it... We have said and have been told at some point or another "What goes around comes around." Today, I have learned that it IS true.
For three days, I have been driving around in 100 degree Texas heat in the Vomit-mobile. See post below. I have been trying to rid the car of the smell. I tried fabric softener sheets. Airing out the car, and anything else people recommended, but to no avail. It still smells like vomit when the A/C starts to blow. Yuck.
Car finally ready. Yeah! No more vomit-mobile. I load Kenzie in the car, as many quarters as I could find for the tollway, and head to the dealership. Kenzie slept to whole way there. And when I got to the dealership, she woke up!
I put her in the stroller - mostly so I wouldn't forget it in the trunk and go inside to the cashier. Several people stopped and did the baby ooohhh, ahhh, asked how old she was, etc while I waited in the short line. And then I saw and heard it. That dreaded look that a mother always knows... the I am taking a massive crap look. And then the squeal of high powered potent baby poop shooting out of the cutest baby girl butt I have ever seen. I looked left... I looked right... Had anyone else heard? I covered her bottom half with an extra blanket from the diaper bag to kind of keep it out of site.
About that time, one of the female service advisors stopped by the stroller and reached in and starting touching her saying... "She is so cute..." and then started to lift the blanket. I thought to myself... you lift that up, lady, and you won't think she is that cute... So I bumped the stroller and proceeded to the cashier. Anyway, who did she think she was touching my baby. Poop on her hand would have served her right.
The cashier needed a signature and sent the valet to get the car. I asked where the restroom was... I had an emergency! I proceeded directly to the ladies room while the car was being pulled around.
Please, have a changing station...Please, please, please. Well, we have mouthwash, scented hand lotion, no changing station... Quick, check the handicap stall. I don't see it. Panic starting to well up. Oh, there it is... built into the wall behind the door was a stainless steel changing table. Perfect!
I pick up the blanket. Oh, this is going to be bad. The yellow poop had leaked out of the diaper and down both legs and was starting to fill the carseat. Carefully, I picked her up to minimize the seepage. I laid her on the stainless steel shelf (with a designer changing pad underneath that I topped with a disposable changing pad and started to slowly remove yellow poopy clothes to get down to the yellow poopy diaper.
Good news, didn't blow up the back, only out the legs. (Did I really just say good news? Yikes!) I go to open the diaper and exposed her bottom to the air so I could start to clean up the mess. Well, Kenzie was just not finished and proceeded to leave a light dusting of yellow poopy on the wall. Thankfully I was standing to the side and was clear of the explosion!
Several baby wipes later I had a clean baby. She won't even need a bath tonight as she now smells, all over, of Pampers Sensitive Baby wipes. Next was the car seat. A wipe was not going to cut it. So, I did the best I could and covered it with a cloth diaper from the diaper bag. This should protect her until we get home. I pulled out a plastic bag from my instant sack of preparedness and forced all of the poopy clothes and the blanket into the bag. This will go strait to the washer when we get home.
Kenzie was strapped back into the carseat and I began to wheel her out of the bathroom. I looked back to see if I had left anything... Ooops... The wall. I used toilet paper to wipe the poop, flushed the TP down the toilet and got out of there as fast as I could. Thankfully, no one else had entered the bathroom during this ordeal.
I am sure that I neglected to mention the screaming that occurred during this process. And it was loud!
I do regret the mess that my child made in the bathroom. It was hardly intentional. As my friend Meg keeps saying, I am doing the best that I can. There you go, Mercedes-Benz. You give me a vomit-mobile to drive and my daughter will poop all over your bathroom!
For three days, I have been driving around in 100 degree Texas heat in the Vomit-mobile. See post below. I have been trying to rid the car of the smell. I tried fabric softener sheets. Airing out the car, and anything else people recommended, but to no avail. It still smells like vomit when the A/C starts to blow. Yuck.
Car finally ready. Yeah! No more vomit-mobile. I load Kenzie in the car, as many quarters as I could find for the tollway, and head to the dealership. Kenzie slept to whole way there. And when I got to the dealership, she woke up!
I put her in the stroller - mostly so I wouldn't forget it in the trunk and go inside to the cashier. Several people stopped and did the baby ooohhh, ahhh, asked how old she was, etc while I waited in the short line. And then I saw and heard it. That dreaded look that a mother always knows... the I am taking a massive crap look. And then the squeal of high powered potent baby poop shooting out of the cutest baby girl butt I have ever seen. I looked left... I looked right... Had anyone else heard? I covered her bottom half with an extra blanket from the diaper bag to kind of keep it out of site.
About that time, one of the female service advisors stopped by the stroller and reached in and starting touching her saying... "She is so cute..." and then started to lift the blanket. I thought to myself... you lift that up, lady, and you won't think she is that cute... So I bumped the stroller and proceeded to the cashier. Anyway, who did she think she was touching my baby. Poop on her hand would have served her right.
The cashier needed a signature and sent the valet to get the car. I asked where the restroom was... I had an emergency! I proceeded directly to the ladies room while the car was being pulled around.
Please, have a changing station...Please, please, please. Well, we have mouthwash, scented hand lotion, no changing station... Quick, check the handicap stall. I don't see it. Panic starting to well up. Oh, there it is... built into the wall behind the door was a stainless steel changing table. Perfect!
I pick up the blanket. Oh, this is going to be bad. The yellow poop had leaked out of the diaper and down both legs and was starting to fill the carseat. Carefully, I picked her up to minimize the seepage. I laid her on the stainless steel shelf (with a designer changing pad underneath that I topped with a disposable changing pad and started to slowly remove yellow poopy clothes to get down to the yellow poopy diaper.
Good news, didn't blow up the back, only out the legs. (Did I really just say good news? Yikes!) I go to open the diaper and exposed her bottom to the air so I could start to clean up the mess. Well, Kenzie was just not finished and proceeded to leave a light dusting of yellow poopy on the wall. Thankfully I was standing to the side and was clear of the explosion!
Several baby wipes later I had a clean baby. She won't even need a bath tonight as she now smells, all over, of Pampers Sensitive Baby wipes. Next was the car seat. A wipe was not going to cut it. So, I did the best I could and covered it with a cloth diaper from the diaper bag. This should protect her until we get home. I pulled out a plastic bag from my instant sack of preparedness and forced all of the poopy clothes and the blanket into the bag. This will go strait to the washer when we get home.
Kenzie was strapped back into the carseat and I began to wheel her out of the bathroom. I looked back to see if I had left anything... Ooops... The wall. I used toilet paper to wipe the poop, flushed the TP down the toilet and got out of there as fast as I could. Thankfully, no one else had entered the bathroom during this ordeal.
I am sure that I neglected to mention the screaming that occurred during this process. And it was loud!
I do regret the mess that my child made in the bathroom. It was hardly intentional. As my friend Meg keeps saying, I am doing the best that I can. There you go, Mercedes-Benz. You give me a vomit-mobile to drive and my daughter will poop all over your bathroom!
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