Massage-any...

Sunday I got a call from my friend Is wanting to know if I had any plans... I quickly responded that no, we didn't really have any plans. She politely corrected me about the we part. The question was for me, not for the we that I normally respond for. Good-y. Something for me to do. I'm IN. I don't know what the plan or the quest is about, but I am definitely IN.

She asked me if I got the paper. Yes. I have the paper. Well, there was an author that she had read before and he is really funny and wanted to know if I wanted to go hear him with her and maybe another couple of friends. I could read all about him in the Zest of Sunday's paper. I told her sure, I would go, but let me call her back in a few minutes after I discussed it with Chad. (Yeah, right. I got invited to go somewhere, alone, without children or husband, I am going...)

So, I told Chad that Is had called and that we wanted to go somewhere this evening. He got a really funny look on his face. I asked him what the look was about. He said that he didn't want me to go. Nice. Not because he didn't want me to go, but he didn't want to have to handle the hour of hell by himself.

The hour of hell is what we call 6PM to 7PM. This is the hour that we have to feed Cutter. Bathe Cutter and Kenzie and put Cutter to bed. Kenzie usually plays during this time, but she prefers to be held... You know how it is with 2 little ones and only one adult.

Oh yeah, the invitation for me was also accompanied with an invitation for Hunter to go with Nic and J to dinner. (Nic is Hunter's friend, Is's son and J is Is's husband.) Which then puts Chad down one big kid that usually helps with the hour of hell.

And Hailey, who also helps with the hour, was working on physics project building a chair that can support 200 pounds out of corrugated cardboard.

So Chad was going to be by himself if I left. There was a piece of me that felt a little sorry for him. It is a challenge... But the piece of me that felt justified and deserved won out...

I responded to his pouty look with a smile and said. Good. Thanks. We're leaving at about 5:30. :-)

Then I went to get the paper. The full intent was to read about the author that Is mentioned, but the glossy sales papers caught my eye... Oh look- Learning Express coupons. And all the food coupons. I got sidetracked and clipped coupons. Then I organized my grocery list by the order of the store, then I even got online and checked the HEB sales ad to see what was on sale. Ridiculous, I know. The grocery list complete, coupons put in order... I made plans to go to the grocery store in the afternoon, during nap time.

Meanwhile, Chad was making his own plans. He can never sit still. He took Hunter for a haircut then went to the shooting range to check the accuracy of Hunter's deer rifle. Hunter had missed shooting at a hog a couple of weeks ago. He was certain that it was an equipment malfunction. When they got home it was 2:30. I had to go to the store and get to Is's house by 5:30. Sounds like enough time, but for anyone that has been to HEB on Sunday should know that I would be cutting it close...

It took me an hour and 45 minutes to make it through my grocery list and HEB and all of the samples and all of the crowd on a Sunday afternoon. When all was said and done, I saved $35.10 on coupons. And I didn't buy anything that we normally wouldn't buy. It is true that I may not have bought all of these items in the same week, but who can have too many Grand's biscuits on hand? Especially with the holidays coming...

Got to Is's on time... We left to go eat. I didn't have to share my food, or cut up food for someone else's plate. It was a good time. At dinner, I had to confess, I hadn't checked out the author, so Is gave us an overview.

We got to the JCC (Jewish Community Center) about 45 minutes early. One of the other ladies we went with was a Jewish Catholic. (He husband is Jewish, she's Catholic) We asked her for a tour, and she just laughed at us. The JCC was having a book fair. We went in a perused the selection. 20% off during the book fair... No one purchased anything, eventhough they had some good stuff, especially with a discount!

The speech was held in a converted basketball auditorium... But the walls were draped with lots of heavy black curtains. They had decent chairs. And even a lovely selection of fake ficus strategically placed to hide the sound guy... But the most intriguing thing that I saw was the closed captioning. There was a table with a projector set up projecting at the front of the converted gymnasium where they were captioning the entire speech. This perplexed me and captured my attention. As the speech was introduced by a member of the JCC, I could not take my eyes from the screen. Amazing. My ears were hearing what my eyes were seeing with a time delay. Fascinating... And the lady that was doing it was really good. Very few mistakes...

The author spoke for a little over an hour. His voice was whiny and annoying, but he was very witty. His name is AJ Jacobs. I am linking to his website where you can read what he talked about and about his books. They are quite funny. I started reading one this morning. And it is fun. If you have someone difficult to buy for, his books would make a good gift!

As he was speaking, I COULD NOT MOVE my eyes from the closed captioning. And then I started to wonder, how many other people were doing the same thing... I started to notice the giggles when Mr. Jacobs said misogyny and the captionist put "MASSAGE-ANY" on the screen. The context of the speech wasn't at a point where many people would laugh. But I heard several snickers... You know who you are!

I think that in the future the disclaimer should say "Closed captioning for the hearing impaired and the visually stimulated..."

All in all I had a lot of fun. It is so nice to go somewhere without your kids... Mental note: must do this more often!