Massage Cheating?

After the title of my last post, it occured to me that I have a membership at one of those massage places. Won't say which one, because I am a little bit peaved and have been wanting to cancel. I currently (well as of last Monday when I checked) have 10 credits (10 1 hour massages) that I need to use or I will lose them if I cancel. And there is no way I am going to lose credit for anything

Why would anyone want to give up on 10 massages? Especially when they don't require the physical therapy torture. Well, let me tell you why...

When I got pregnant with Kenzie, you can't get a massage until after the first trimester. So I waited until I was 14 weeks and went for a "prenatal" massage. Then they told me their policy was to wait until 18 weeks and I would have to provide a doctors note. Okay, fine. So I waited and got a note from my doctor. Then I tried to make an appointment. They only had one therapist that would do the prenatal massage. Guess what... She was always freaking busy. So again, no more appointments. In about the eighth month of my pregnancy, I got really pissed. Can you believe it took me so long? I complained. I emailed the corporate office and so on. So, as a courtesy, they put my membership on hold - for 6 months. During my on hold period I couldn't get a massage or use any of my credits. In exchange, they wouldn't charge me the monthly fee. The credits would keep until the hold period was up. Then I could get massage again.

So, as a swollen 8 month pregnant woman, I went to the new massage club in town. It was just on the outskirts of our subdivision. It was quiet. The people were really nice. And when I walked in, they had immediate availability with someone that gave prenatal massage. OK, can you say "AHHHH!"

Yada yada yada... I signed up. Alan, my new massage guy, was very experienced. He was the lead therapist in the clinic. And did a great job. So, starting at 32 weeks, I went to see Alan once a week until Kenzie was born. :-) So if you are in the Pearland area and need a referral for prenatal massage, I got one!

To continue with the story, Kenzie is born, and at week 6 I go back for a regular massage. I still like Alan, so I figured I would keep up the massage membership. Time fast forwards to November when I notice an interesting charge on my credit card... Oh crap. My 6 months must be up. Kenzie is 6 months old. It makes sense... Then, I go back through my statements and notice I have gotten charged for September, October, and November... Rat bastards! I need to cancel.

I call them up and discover I have 10 credits. Can I cancel the membership? "Certainly, Mrs. B, you can cancel, but you have 10 credits on your account. All credits will be forfeited. The retail value of 10 credits is $800." Well, crap on that. I am not losing those credits.

I set my self a goal. Use all 10 of them between now and December 31st so I can cancel!

I am on a mission. Use 10 credits in 5 weeks. With the Thanksgiving holiday, I have vacation coming up. Chad is taking Cutter and Hunter out of town. Kenzie will be in daycare, so I will knock some of these credits off...

I called Friday to make an appointment. No openings on Saturday. Again, rat bastards! Sunday. 3:00 with David. Okay, how could this be bad?

I get there on Sunday... One down. Nine to go... David turns out to be an odd looking little man who is legally blind. It was a weird massage. Not bad. But weird. David was no Alan. As I am laying there, relaxing, my mind constantly was comparing David to Alan. Alan doesn't do that. Uhhh, that was weird. Does David breathe out of his mouth? Great, now all I can think about is this weird little man breathing out of his mouth, lathering me up with oil and feeling weird. Not relaxed any more. Needless to say. It was ... ehh... marginal at best.

I check out when I leave and Barbie the Bimbo on the computer says, "Would you like to make your next appointment?" Ok. "When?" How about tomorrow? "Great! I noticed you have 9 credits remaining on your account. How about trying our hot stones? Its a 90 minute massage and costs 2 credits." Sounds good, as my ever present goal of using 10 credits in 5 weeks looms over me. "How's tomorrow at 2:30?" Texans game tomorrow... Leaving at 5. 2:30 plus 90 minutes gives me 4:00. Okay I have time. That works for me. Thanks Barbie the Bimbo, I now have a new strategy to achieve my goal!

Monday comes. I am really busy... Shopping, cleaning, laundry. You know. The usual. I am almost late to my massage appointment. I pull into the parking lot at 2:30 on the dot. My therapist this time is named Israel. At the start of the massage, I asked him few questions while we were getting started. He lives in Clute. He used to be an iron worker and did massage part time. Okay. Odd combination. But he got laid off in January and now does massage full time. And is buying a new house in December. You know, the $8000 credit really helped him out. Oh goody! The more we chit chatted the more I realized, this guy ain't the sharpest tool in the shed... for sure. Alan, on the other hand, freelances as a network security guy. He hacks into websites for money to see if they are secure. He knows computers and is fairly intelligent. Alan does a better massage too.

I started to feel like I was cheating on Alan or something. I don't like this massage place, but I am not going to lose those darn credits. So I am wondering, when I go back to Alan for my massage, do I tell him I have been cheating on him?